Fandom: Fakenews/PunditryTitle: The 28th Amendment IV: Broadcast Me a Joyful Noise unto the Times, LordRating: PG-13Characters: Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddow, Steve Carell, assorted Daily Show
correspondentsSummary: Adjusting to this new world can take time. Warning: minor violence.Note: Thanks to enamourednhmrd and sarken for most excellent betas.Disclaimer: Any similarity between the
fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis
of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).Any mention of 'The Daily
Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', 'Anderson 360', 'Countdown' any associated entities, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United
States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.All previous parts, soundtracks and deuterocanonical stories can now be found at the 28th Amendment Index.
"Bishop Thomas Kowalski was murdered today at Saint Mary and the Angels Catholic Church in Alabama, Kowalski was under suspicion of being a leader of CLUMSY and police suspect he was killed by
member of his own organization in a power struggle." Shepard Smith, Fox News, 2 February 2013"Bishop Thomas Kowalski was assassinated while consecrating the host during a High Mass today by a man
Birmingham police are claiming is a disaffected member of CLUMSY. Parish members, however, say the man screamed, 'Sola scriptura. God Bless a Christian America,' before shooting the Catholic Bishop
thirty-four times with an AK-47. Several other people were injured trying to disarm the man, whose name has not been released by the police." Anonymous, The Subterranean Press, 4 February 2013 The
three fourteen year old boys convicted of the murder of sixteen year old Zane Barlow each received a five year suspended sentence and 100 hours of community service. Two other boys were originally
also charged, but were acquitted in the beating and subsequent hanging of the LDS teen. Barlow was the fourth LDS youth killed in Texas this year, but this is the only case in which any suspects
were tried. -Brit Hume, Fox News, 4 August 2013. Three Media Studies professors were killed today in Massachusetts by angry students. The students claimed the professors were secretly teaching the
homosexual agenda, and may have themselves been homosexuals. -Greta Van Susteren Fox News, 5 September 2013 ***Anderson loved the little commune Rachel had set up in the Canadian wilderness. Okay,
so it wasnt exactly the wilderness and it wasnt quite a commune, but that was how Anderson thought of it. Five houses and a barn-turned-office on old farm land in Ontario. Anderson figured even if
it wasn't now a commune, it had been built for one. Rachel ran the American Refugee Assistance Center from the barn. She helped people who had escaped America with visas and employment, anything
they needed: finding people's families, getting medical help and counseling, and generally trying to help people rebuild their lives. Dan helped on the legal end, Steve Carell was their celebrity
public face, and Anderson financed the project. He kept his involvement in the Center under wraps and rumors of his death or permanent vacation to the Bahamas helped keep it that way. The only
person hed actually told about his continuing existence was his mother. He hadnt actually spoken to her, just sent word through Erica. Rachel called the compound "The Farm" and the name had stuck.
The Farm had become the headquarters of all their Underground activities as well as their legitimate business. Anderson figured that they were financing almost half of the Underground in America,
and a good portion of the illegal border crossings too.Unlike many of the others, Rachel had gotten her money out of US banks before it could be confiscated when she was redefined as a terrorist.
Anderson and Dan had done the same, but most of the people who trickled in after Steve were running short on funds.Wyatt, Aasif and Kristen had shown up together four months before the border
closed, with exactly fifteen dollars and a mangy dog among them. I, said Wyatt, had nothing to do with the dog. Hes all Kirstens fault.Kristen just said, His name is Hobbes. Anderson fell in love
with the dog immediately, and by the second week Hobbes had abandoned the young Daily Show correspondents to sleep at the foot of his bed.Theyd received donations to cover some of their costs. Amy
Sedaris, who had grabbed Paul Dinello and her siblings and headed to her brother Davids house in France two days before the borders closed, had sent a large check. People who werent connected to
them had sent money as well: Canadian MPs, British sport stars, and a few Bollywood actors. It was enough to keep them in business without depleting all of Andersons funds, or at least without
depleting them immediately. Rachel made sure that the illegal and immoral arrests and detentions of hundreds of American journalists didn't leave the forefront of the international media's
attention. When she wasnt at the Farm, Rachel was on the Canadian talk circuit, advocating for the release of those unjustly detained.Look, said Rachel one evening on CTV National News, most of the
so-called terrorist activities journalists in the United State have been arrested for are for things they did before the laws changed and were perfectly legal and part of their jobs when they did
them. These people have been arrested for reporting the news and actually doing a little bit of research instead of directly reporting what the White House tells them. Three of those guys are
weathermen--not the most subversive people, weathermen, but all three of them are still doing time for supporting environmental terrorism. In one case, the environmental terrorism was suggesting
that global climate change was seriously affecting the planet and that cars are one of the biggest factor in global climate change. Whenever they could, Anderson and Dan dropped their work to watch
Rachel on television. Usually, whoever was in the office joined them.Many of the people Stephen had sent north from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report had joined them or volunteered as well.
Wyatt, Aasif, and Kristen had stayed and shared the smallest house on the Farm. The interns who had come with Sam and Jason helped file residency paper work and kept the Farm running smoothly.
Steve kept morale up and dealt with other aid agencies to make sure no resource was left unturned. It was as if somehow, by staying close to one another, they were keeping their America alive. The
Subterranean, as they called the Underground newspaper, was actually Wyatt's idea. He had recruited Kristen and Aasif and they had brought the idea to Rachel, who'd jumped on it immediately. It was
half real journalism, half Onion-style, and had one of the largest circulations of any illegal newspaper in America. Their Canadian circulation wasnt bad either.Rachel sometimes wondered about the
conditions American refugees faced. Instead of setting up camps, the Canadians had placed most dislocated Americans with host families. Work visas and identification papers came through faster than
Rachel had seen any bureaucracy work before.It wasnt just that. Both Rachel and Anderson had been in refugee camps before and had witnessed the deprivation. As much as she was thankful for all the
Canadians were doing, she often wondered if America, even before the Amendment, would have been so kind to refugees in their care. Not everyone stayed on the Farm. Erica had gone to France, where
Anderson had arranged for her to stay with his mother so that she would have as much time and quiet as she needed to recover. Jeff visited on occasion, but he devoted most of his time to smuggling
people and things over the border for Anderson and the Underground.If it wasnt for the situation in America, Anderson might have been content on the Farm.***They heard the news over the television
in those darkest days, back when it was just Rachel, Dan and Steve. Steve had only been there for a day, and had come expecting to meet up with Jon and Stephen after getting as many people out of
LA as he could. Dan had been in the kitchen with the television on. The kitchen had been serving as their main office when the news had come across the ticker: Stewart and Colbert dead. Dan and
Rachel tossed a coin to see who would call John Oliver, who'd have to make sure Tracey and Evie heard the news from someone they knew and not from a television. Steve had come in, stopped their
deliberations, and volunteered to call himself. Rachel had stood by him as he dialed, had let the phone ring until John woke up and answered groggily, waited for John to wake up his house guests
and let Steve deliver the news. After Steve finally hung up, Rachel broke out a bottle of scotch and when they'd finished that, a bottle of tequila."To absent friends."***Getting into America
wasn't the hard part. In fact, for Anderson, it was almost easier to get in and out of America than it had been before the barricade. No more customs, no more lines, but there was a lot more
danger.The Underground wasnt the organized entity ready to swoop down and wreak havoc that the news made it out to be. Not that that wasnt Andersons goal, but most of the Underground didnt even
know the rest of it existed. They were small, local groups doing what they could to help their neighbors. A few were more organized and more even aggressive.It had taken him a long time to get used
to the news lumping him in with terrorists. Not that there werent those in the Underground who walked that line. The CLUMSY kids --Anderson had yet to meet a single one of them over the age of
twenty-six -- were some of the most violent. Theyd taken to blowing up mega-churches in the middle of the night and hacking into things like water treatment plants. They were just lucky that no one
had been caught in one of their attacks yet. They were also the ones who had found the last of the information Anderson needed. Information he thought might bring Huckabee down. This was why he was
once again headed into America before they were ready to rescue Keith.CLUMSY also had two scientists that they desperately needed to get out of the country and were willing to trade their
information for the scientists safe passage. Dr. Anne Caermichael and Dr. David Van Meter had both worked on stem cell research for the University of Wisconsin. Several of their colleagues had been
killed and the rest arrested.They'd made some sort of breakthrough. His CLUMSY contact, Gerard, wasn't willing to say what, but whatever it was, it would probably save thousands of lives if they
could just get it to civilization. Jeff had set up the whole trip: evidence in, scientists out. The academic purges were spreading and more and more professors and researchers who hadnt gotten out
before were turning to the Underground to get them out now.Anderson insisted he'd be the one to go. If they really did have memos from Huckabee, signed in his own hand, ordering the framing of
Josiah Abbott, Anderson might not actually have to storm ADX Florence. Maybe Keith would be released and he wouldnt have to risk any more lives to get him out."Anderson," said Rachel, "you need to
take a break. You're pushing yourself to the limits--and I understand why--but if you get yourself killed, who will rescue Keith?" Anderson hadn't stopped working since he'd set foot in Canada and
his obsession with the Huckabee memos was beginning to worry her. Ever since getting the first hint that Huckabee had been behind the framing of Josiah Abbot, Anderson had gotten more and more
obsessed with finding proof. Circumstantial evidence had been easy for Anderson to find. It piled up into a compelling case that neither Josiah Abbot nor the LGBT community had anything to do with
the New Orleans port bombing. It was enough to convince Rachel and Dan, and maybe even enough for the Canadian news. Anderson had seen too many good stories fall apart when publicized too early and
he wasnt willing to risk his only shot at dethroning Huckabee without hard evidence. ***Rachel never thought of herself as very parental, but someone had to play the adult. Steve might actually be
an adult, but get him together with the rest of the Daily Show crew and they all turned into twelve year old boys (even Sam), and the interns were all teenagers to begin with. Anderson just stared
fondly at their antics, as if caught in memories of a better time, and Dan was more likely to start a war than to fix anything, so Rachel took up the job. Everyone came to her with their problems.
During the day they all left her to work, but by the time shed walked across the field to her house, there was always someone waiting for her at her kitchen table needing help. More often than not,
someone else cooked dinner as she sorted out these issues and then they all ate together."Rachel, you need to see this," said Dan as he pulled her towards the television after dinner one night."The
RCMP has just released a statement announcing that a team of American military operatives were prevented from abducting Pete Stark, a Representative from California. Stark received political asylum
from the Canadian government earlier this year. He was tried by the American government in absentia, found guilty, and sentenced to life imprisonment. Stark is the only atheist to ever serve
Congress." "They sent a retrieval squad after Pete Stark," said Rachel in disbelief. "He's like eighty." It was probably not the first American retrieval squad to kidnap someone from Canadian soil.
Rachel was still suspicious of the disappearance of Tammy Baldwin, the first openly lesbian woman to sit in the House of Representatives. This squad was just the first to get caught.She didn't know
if they were in danger from the retrieval squads. She didn't know if they would ever be able to free Keith. She didn't know if they would ever get to give Jon and Stephen a proper burial or find
out what actually happened to Rob Riggle. In the face of all the things Rachel didn't know, she had to just keep going. ***Anderson hated that his code name was Coyote, but it stuck after they
insisted Silver Fox was both laughable and way too obvious. It was Gerard, one of their best underground contacts, who finally explained to him that they were not thinking about the coyotes who
took peoples money and left them stranded in the desert. Yes, partially, it was because he was smuggling people across the border, but it was really because hed fallen into the role of Trickster.
He was the one needling the tyrants, pulling their enemies away to safety from right under their noses. He was the one helping the people, the one who used his words and actions to save.Gerard was
a Montraler by birth, though hed been living in the US when the Amendment passed. Hed been at MIT doing things with math that Anderson could only speculate about. Whatever it was, Anderson was
betting it was intelligence related because Gerard had all the right training and contacts.This was how Anderson ended up taking a minor detour on his way to meet with CLUMSY. Gerard had handed him
a print out of a police blotter on his way out the door. Sixteen people had been left to die locked in the back of a truck that was supposed to be taking them to Mexico but instead had been left in
the desert. It wasnt too hard to figure out who the coyotes were or even to catch them. Anderson left the three coyotes at the Glendale police headquarters. He knew what would happen to them and
thought about regretting it for a minute, but he didn't. People who he recruited for the Underground, which some jokers at the Farm had started calling "Anderson's Subway", knew going into it that
they were volunteers and this was not a for profit market.Getting people out of America who needed to escape wasn't something to be turned over to out of work drug runners and thieves. These three
had taken their cargo's life savings and had left them to die in southern Arizona. And for that, they deserved whatever the United States government shelled out.Once that chore was taken care of,
Anderson headed towards the pick up site. He never did get the story of how the two UW researchers had ended up hiding in Glendale, AZ, but the dry heat was nice after the muggy Canadian summer.You
have the memos, said AndersonI do, replied the man who had given his name as Tom. Not that his name was actually Tom, but Anderson hadnt given a name at all, just Coyote, so he let it slide.Tom
handed over a thick manila envelope. Heres everything we have. Anderson took a brief look at the papers inside, confirming that there was a signature at the bottom of one of the memos.Dr.
Caermichael and Dr. Van Meter, Tom said, once Anderson had gotten the papers back into the envelope. The two scientists looked scared but determined and Anderson quickly flashed them what he hoped
was a reassuring smile. Ill take it from here.They made it back over the Canadian border without a single incident, which only made Anderson more nervous. He made it safely back to the Farm, so
apparently it wasnt a harbinger of immediate doom. He gathered Rachel, Dan, Jeff, and Steve around Rachels kitchen table and spread the papers in front of them.Anderson gave them time as they read
the damning words. Do you think its enough? Rachel looked up from the documents. You know, I think it is.
